-- A blog maintained by a pessimistic over-confident High-School kid.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Admiration of Meursault's detachment from the world - The Stranger (Thoughts on my goals in life)

I have just read halfway through "The Stranger" and the character Meursault inspires me and resonate with this character a lot. This character with a characteristic of being emotionless and detached from the real world is what I have been striving for a long time. I wanted to record my thoughts upon this extremely relatable story of Meursault before I lose it.

For all my life, I look forward to characters that could detach themselves from their own desires and live for a greater significance. In Chinese kungfu fiction, these characters go out to help others despite their own cause, and in the Fountainhead, the character was focused on making a more productive world. These characters seem so powerful to me as because they do not care about themselves, the unfortunate or unfairness being opposed to them are ignored despite the devastating effect that it would leave behind. Their detachment to the outside world levitates time for them to think cautiously about their actions. Things that may traumatise one would not affect these detached characters. They live in a higher plane of existence that could ignore the effects that pushed them. Their life is no longer cause and effect, but rather of pure action. Although Meursault in The Stranger is no powerful hero or a highly intelligent being, he could always allow room for thinking and analyzation of his surrounds in busy and distracting areas. He was able to grasp all the conversations within the room of prison meetings while everyone is shouting their dialogues. On top of all that, he is still able to have a straight conversation with his girlfriend and describe his feelings towards her. His awareness and attentive observations although does not explain his relatively stupid actions in his life, it illustrates a big deal of maturity and understanding of the world. His detachment from the world and detail observations resembles the characteristics of a spy. A spy similarly has to forget his personal duties and contribute to the bigger cause. And his observations resembles that of a detective, understanding everything in his sight of vision. While his detachment from the world left him with a bad outcome within his life because of his desire to help others, he is one model that I would forever look up towards.

One of the many ways that Meursault shows his indifference to the world and uncaring of what people think is his way of describing his feeling. While he understands the meaning of happiness, sorrow, sadness, annoyance, he cannot relate these feelings to himself. His act of wanting Maurie, dreaming of her, and enjoying her presence would be quantifiable as love, but he described as not. He detaches his definition of love from his desire for this woman. He understands that he has this exact feeling with other women that he knew, and he reasoned that the feeling of "love" is not loyal to any of them. While Romeo in his story switches his desire for a girl in days and was not aware of it, Meursault is aware of all his emotions. He is in a higher plane of existence as he could understand and analyze his own past experiences. And in addition to his awareness of emotions, he is also very acute when in distracting environments. While I have already mentioned his ability to notice details in the prison meetings, he also was able to pick out details in a courtroom where he is being trailed. His future was defined in the courtroom as to whether he could own his freedom, but he treats it with indifference and was able to notice details again. He was able to understand each facial movement and gesture that the opposing lawyer made. He could notice the details about the crowd's reaction, and his slow thinking and detailing suggests that he also understand his every consequence in his response. While he chose to answer all the questions from the bottom of his heart and with a supernatural amount of honesty, his attentiveness to all the details in the courtroom makes me believe that he is aware of everything that will happen to him beforehand. It is his uncaring to what the world will do to him that affect his decision in his responses.

An artwork that I did during the summer (a long time ago)
It serves as a break for the long long blog post that I just wrote
It is for the people that actually read my post, lol, whatever, I do it for my own benefit.

My believe of his thought of how the world can do whatever to me and I will just live as it goes is what I strive to believe in as well. The only thing that matters to my life is that I am doing my own sole best and am aware of and could predict my future. I want to have the ability to analyze my actions and make a decisions based upon it. And in addition, I would also strive to make that decision independent of my own life. I want to have the "power" that these fictional character has that allows them to live for a greater cause. They could understand their actions and tweak them in the way of shaping the bigger world. The ability to analyze one's surrounding in detachment to the correlation to oneself allows for one person to become more powerful in a sense that it makes them the contributor. In Ayn Rayn's book of Atlas Shrugged, it states how people rip from the empowered and live off of them like parasites. And the most powerful characters within those books are the ones that do not care about whether people live off of him and take advantage of him. They live as because they want to live, and they do not care much about the consequences that they get for doing the good things. They are only interested in what they are able and will produce, and not care about how they are being punished for their good acts. They are helping a society that stabbed them in the back. This also resembles Jesus and I guess it is where I am coming from. These characters are all like Jesus in a way that they are not interested in their own affairs and are only interested in helping others in their best abilities. Jesus saved mankind with his own suffering, dedication, and sacrifice of life. The main character in Atlas Shrugged provided the world with his amazing new metal without cost, in unfairness, and with people trying to take over his business (while others are trying to just let them rot and wait for them to die out). The main character in The Fountainhead provided the world with his stunning new design without complaint, under criticism, under poverty, without defiant (he delivered when people wanted it). The characters from the Chinese Kungfu fictions save lives that do not want to be saved, be humble while others laugh at them being weak (while not being weak) [hiding of their true ablities], and live to better other people lives instead of themselves. These characters all live for others, uncaring for themselves.

In in my own ways, I always try to be like these fictional character(1) in a way that I help people despite my situation (I don' really follow this too much). I try to help people in detachment of my responsibilities as being a student. I would try to disregard my desire to draw, to do the extra-curricular activities that I like in place of helping others, tutoring others to my best ability (2). My relatively diverse skill that ranges from video editing, 3d animation, drawing, coding, attempt in self-approvement allows me to help others, it is only my lack in my trying that I had failed to be like these characters. I also refer to how we should always help ourselves out with the oxygen mask on a plane before others because without situating ourselves, it would only cause our inability to help others later. It is more efficient to help myself and then use my 200% to help others. But this is an excuse and I should work toward perfecting my own ability so that I do not need to care about myself. Like in the plane again, I could gain the ability to not needing to breathe oxygen(3) and then gain the ability to help others. It is acquiring power for myself in the bigger picture of helping others. I want to be the most powerful person in a room(maybe also just for personal selfish desire) and be able to help others or be aware of everything that is going on.

With all this rambling, I was just trying to get all my thoughts down on paper so that I could review them later on (Edit: now that I have reviewed on it once, it shows the problems with my current mindset, lol. im like overconfident annoying guy). I could barely articulate my role-model in life and what my goal is(4). I know I want to live for a greater cause (maybe, now I say it, I just want to have a satisfying personal life), but I do not know how so. After reading half of The Stranger, I sense my ability to articulate some of it, and so this is just me typing what I think without much attention to the output.

I may just rewrite this later because I really want to clearly articulate my ideas, but when do I ever do what I say I am going to do.

Now that I have put down all my thoughts that I gained from reading the class-required The Stranger, I need to do the study guide that goes along with it, lol. Ahhh, it's like 10: 17 pm and it is due tmr. Ah, lol. Ah. as dfasdf. I love not doing work on the first 2 days of a 3 day weekend.

(1)I know that these godly qualities are existing in real-life examples as well, it is just that I only get to experience the fiction examples for now and is only inspired by those with these narratives for now.

(2) trying to help others is one reason, but I also reason myself with how I would just procrastinate in response to the additional time that I get from not helping other people.

(3) One of the ways that I try to better my own ability is now with a daily schedule that I do. It records the to-do list of the way and how I spread out my to-do list. It somehow just ends up me having a burnout every other week, but I think it is a step in the right direction for putting this on.

(4) Being able to visualise one's goal would help them more easily work towards it.

All of Meursault awareness of his surrounds might solely originate from the author's desire to convey the overall environment that Meursault was in, but this does not change the fact that Meursault noticed everything he did. While this might not be intentional, and his detachment from the world only means his uneducated and simple background, it is ingrained into his character and that alone inspires me of what I want myself to become.

No comments:

Post a Comment