-- A blog maintained by a pessimistic over-confident High-School kid.

Monday, February 25, 2019

1984 | Effectiveness of Brainwashing and a Monarchy Rule

I have trapped myself in not downloading any more books to read on my kindle before I do a book review for 1984. I have held this review so long that I need to set restrains in order for myself to do it. The main reason for this is that this book didn't strike me that much. Although this book is famous for its concept about how the omission of vocabulary would limit people thoughts because they no longer know how to grasp that concept. Although there are other studies that proved otherwise, this book was published in 1949, so I guess this was very impressive that many years ago.

This book starts off like most other books, this book has a generic main character with his damsel in distress. And like any book, it has an antagonist which is the government in this case. 1984 created an environment where a monarchy government wants to limits its citizen's thoughts. They used tactics such as lying about an on-going war to exert control, taking vocab out of a citizen's daily life to limit certain thoughts and intruding into each citizen's life with hidden cameras and a special type of police - "thought police". In the society of the book, the thought of freedom or possession is a crime and any citizens that show signs of this thought would be followed and tracked down. In this controlled society, grown individuals are constantly aware of their actions while the young roam around normally being used to the special treatment they have. Kids are educated in such extremes where watching hangings are a treat for them. The idea of this type of governing is that by getting rid of any possible thoughts about revolt and rebellion, no one would oppose the government even if they put on the cruelest of acts. The author hypothesized that extreme control that includes the control over thoughts would be feasible and sustainable.

Although the purpose of this book is not to correctly predict the future and is to warn people about the implications of exerting control, the concepts that are used in the book aren't really that logical. The biggest one of this is that it thinks the control over language would control the mind. This is tremendously false because or thoughts are only partly guided by words. For example, if the purple isn't ever made up in English, people would still see purple and remember the resemblance of it in their mind. Although the person may not express what he saw easily, he is still capable of thinking about it. And when things could be remembered and thought of, words would be created in place of describing it. In the book's defense, the inability of describing something would oppress actions of it because one individual will not be able to organize or spread his/her ideas easily. More control would be exercised with the deletion in people's vocabulary, but it does not limit their thoughts in any way.

Another idea that this book represented is that if long-term brainwash is made, people would change their way of thinking. And even though they still remember the days where they thought of justice and human right, they would no longer abide by what they believe. And although it is a very compelling point, I strongly disagree with his idea. If a person still remembers the concept that they had believed in, they would retain the reasoning behind it and keep on believing in it. Rigid believes could not be erased with brainwashing. Rigid believes need reasoning to be dispatched. One would not forget that 1+1=2 because he is told enough times that it isn't. The author had been confused between brainwashing and reasoning.

With all that said, although the book contains ideas about brainwashing and dystopian society that I do not agree with, I am amazed by how complex the philosophy is behind the simple story. If the book had a more interesting plot I would definitely recommend it, but otherwise, only read it if you are super into philosophy.

P.S: Finally finished the book review, now I can go back to reading books. 

why did I deprive myself of books even?

Quick Sketch of a parront on my Ipad

Friday, February 15, 2019


"It is very important to have friends, and although they are not essential, life would be much more difficult without them." This is what my mum had causally and jokingly said about my situation in school since I understand Chinese. And when I had first heard of this phrase, the only thing I can think of is how materialistic you have to be to say it. A bared down version of this is just "you need friends because you need their help". You are making friends based on the benefits of it, and you are using your friends. Even if you help them back, and the trade goes both ways, it is still true that you are there partly because of the help. But today, I have a different view on this, and this quote could be looked upon in another angle.

This quote holds true and moral because you are providing help and assistance in thinking this way. Although you are conscious and look forward to the aid you get from your friends, you are also conscious of the contrary and that you would have to help them back in their darkest times as well. Although I myself would prefer friends to have a genuine care for each other, I think this both way trade of a win-win situation serves no negative effect. Even in a situation that one of the friends went through a detrimental accident that rendered them useless, the trade still continues and one would help the other. Friends like this still go around together and take a form of couples, and it does not damage the relationship in any way. The only negative part about this kind of friend relationship is that the choice of friends would become a very annoying and immoral process for people holding this belief. But except that little step back to it, this kind of relationship of friends is perfect. Friends would be aware of the actions that others are doing to them and be grateful for it. While the lack of action may lead to friends like this to spare apart, I do not think this is going to be likely to happen. Although this kind of friendship is not ideal, it is far from immoral as I thought.

The reason that I brought this up is that my friend offered to advertise my website and my services to others. This doesn’t mean this friend is the type of friend that I described, but his offer to help me is such great that I had related it to that type of friend. He voluntarily acts of proposing his plan to help me is mind-blowing to me. Although he did other things for me before and I surely and fully appreciate it, it did not strike me as much as it did now. What he is offering is to sacrifice his time and face for me. I cannot stress how badly I hate advertising myself or, in fact, for anyone. When you are pitching about your business or idea to someone and is seeking their approval, you are like a beggar begging for their money and assistance. Although I don’t want to be a beggar in any shape or alternate form, I don’t feel like I am too good for it. I just don’t like to rely on anyone but myself. If I am going to help one person out, I wouldn’t want to ask (beg) for their acceptance of me. Back to the point, this friend of mine is offering to do the (in my eyes) “dirty” work for me, and I am such grateful. The only problem left now is that I need to gain the qualification to do commission work for others. Right now, although I could do a lot, I do not think I am good enough. (if the friend I am talking about reads this, it would be pretty weird)

The thing that I take from this is that as long as you are trying your best to help others and be genuine about your offered help, good things will naturally come at your way.

Now that the people I know in real life read my blog, I must be careful what I say and not cringe them out. I know my English writing is not even near the primary school level, so if you are reading this, just know that you would be better off reading actual books and short articles. 😊

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Finishing my Website

If you read my blogs, you would know that I wanted to finish my website and earn my first portion of money before my 16th birthday. And as you know, I didn't really do that. My website had just yesterday got rid of green squares in place of actual pictures. My target of finishing all this before December is now finally half way done 2 months later. After setting up a domain, the next step is getting customers which would pose its own challenge. But in the end, the only important thing is that I need to keep trying.

Just last Friday, my school counselors held a talk about the International Baccalaureate Program(IBP) and how we should be applying for it. With my enormous amount of tuition that my parents are paying for me right now, it is annoying to have the need to even pay more. Although nothing about a rise in tuition that the IB program would bring, I think it is implied. But there is still a possibility that because my tuition is in such great amount that it won't cost extra(whatever, it's impossible). In that talk, the counselors listed a bunch of benefits in taking the program, their list went on and on for hours. One of the many reasons that they addressed is how the program would shape the student as an individual. They said that because of the tight scheduling and the forcing of good habits within that program. The program is said to be a very well-rounded, balanced, and I think I would gain a lot of experience for being there.

The alternative option other than IB is AP, and although it is said to be an inferior option, it is said to have their own benefits. AP is not foreign to the US and most US colleges are more familiar to AP in contrast to IB. And although the acceptant rate of IB students is higher, the places and spots available for it are less in one college. The possibility of getting in a college through pure luck is more unlikely than ever. In addition, when taking AP, there is no limit on how many subjects you could take. While IB offers a program which you choose a certain number of classes to earn a diploma. AP just offer you an unlimited option of tests that some student does take them all.

In this blog, it is obvious that I don't know what I am talking about. But I haven't posted for 7 days straight, so I am just going to throw this out there.

my hosted website on

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Perceptions | How There Was 3 Different Comments on the Same Room

Last semester my English class read The Life of Pi and my awesome teacher really dug on how perception played a role in that story. Her stressing on how the perception of different people came back to me when a couple of my friends and family commented on my room. Long story short is that the four people that saw my room identify it with a certain mood. While my housemate thinks it is high-school-ish, my friend relates it to a hacker room.

To my housemate that is 2 years younger than me, I am that awesome high-school kid that have perfect grades and can do everything known to man(obviously I exaggerated a bit). I was that kid that code, sing, play saxophone, have all As, and have a patient heart. When he went into my room 3 days1 ago, he immediately noted that it feels like room for a successful high-schooler. He specifies said, "your room feel like it is for high-schoolers. Mine feels like a normal adult room." I don't know what that second line came from, but his remark on my room was made based on me as a person and not on the room solely. He thought of the room in relation to my characteristics and in relation to what he thought of me. Although the whole room has absolute no decorations at all, he thought of what he had thought of. His view of the room was affected by his perception of me.

My Room
I really just butchered this one.
I have hw, but I want to have a picture of my room to go along with the blog

To my friend at school, his first words in my room were, "This is the hacker room, right?" In his defense, I had a server up and running in a terminal my Linux computer and the screen that was present was one with green text on top of a black background. In my friend's case, because he knows me as the kid that taught himself electronics and 3 programming language, he saw the room as one for "hackers". My talks with him explaining how exactly hackers do their work, and how they are just exploiting loopholes within programs, manipulated him in seeing my room as he sees it. Once again, he saw the room based on the characteristics he thinks of me and not based on the environment of the room. My room had the same blue paint along with a couple of desks and drawers. The actual interior of my room was making any effect on how people think of it.

To my homestay parents, they said my room was comfy. At that time, I to them was the kind and nice kid that is very regular with his habits. They knew me as one that has a good sleeping schedule along with a good-intended ambition. They saw the room as one that is very tidy and organized because of me. From then to now, the organization of my room didn't change much, it is still that messy and that tidy, but it is only my homestay parents that said that room was comfy and organized.

Different people had different comments about my room just because of what they think of me. They didn't comment on the room based on the actual room, but rather had commented according to me. Their perceptions affected their thoughts and perception really played a major role. This phenomenon tells me how perception is really that manipulative and effective.

1. (the reason why it is 3 days is because I was too lazy to type the last 3 days)
P.S: I didn't post this "daily" blog in 4 days. I am lacking off. But I will come back strong, I believe.