blog.speedstor.net -- A blog maintained by a pessimistic over-confident High-School kid.

Monday, December 31, 2018

Improvements

Looking back on the blog post I did that is titled "Wasting Time",  I found out that I wasn't that bad anyways. On that post, I went over how I had wasted half of my holiday without even knowing it and illustrated my frustration to keep finding ways to waste time. That two sentences don't sound right, but I will let it be. What do I mean by "wasn't that bad"? The phrase "wasn't that bad" is used by me because I improve a lot to previous holidays of mine. Recurring to my previous holiday, I still remember how I struggle to write when picking up a pen at the end of the holidays. As anyone would, my previous holiday consists of me doing my holiday homework in the last week, and as I said, I couldn't even hold on to a pen correctly. I struggled writing neatly to impress new teachers as I was going to have a new English teacher due to the bais teacher I had the previous semester. I was going to talk about how improvements are very important in life and how I should keep improving, but I am just going to talk about my beloved English teacher now.

My first English teacher in 9th grade loved me, and I do say it literally. Although my English isn't top notch (plz refer to my first two sentences in this blog), this teacher gave me 80 - 100 on my homework just for my effort. While I do put in much effort into my homework and especially English, I can find flaws in my homework myself. One of the many examples of this is the homework that I have that consisted of three or so questions for each chapter of a book. Although I told myself that I would answer each question as if they were on an exam when I first got the packet, I slacked off in the end like everybody else. All that is left in my homework is good handwriting. And this "good handwriting" isn't even that good when compared to my classmate's handwriting. You may say that I put in effort in writing those bunch of letters, but you need to know that I did not put the effort in the practical answer itself. When the teacher received my packet and mark it, he listed a bunch of things that he was impressed with. At this point, I am either super smart or just super loved by the teacher. Just some months later, I ended up with two 90s in the mid-term and final which led me to the move-up test.

My move-up test was ridiculously dumb. You need to know, the holiday that went before this test is the same holiday that I struggled to write during the end of it. To be honest, I couldn't even pronounce English words correctly during the end of that holiday, but somehow I passed that super difficult move-up test. This test was failed by millions, and even the strongest, straight A students had trouble with it, but somehow, I, as a stupid, dumb 9th grader that is an underdog in most cases passed this freaking test. This is unbelievable. I couldn't believe it. In the end, I came into the reason that the teacher that gave me all hundreds in the previous semester was the cause of this. Maybe this teacher hated me that much that he just gave me all perfect scores and contacted the teacher of the higher level English class just to let me pass the move-up test. This is dumb. But like anything, I found out that it is just that the teacher wanted to teach me next year in Honors+ English that he pushed me up to Honors+ before he won't have the chance to do so.

I may have sounded a bit harsh in this blog. And that is due to my desire to sleep now, I love that teacher and he did teach in the best method known to me. He went over his own material million times by himself and only gave us the best treatment in class. And although it seems to be that he was bias toward me, he did treat his students very equally. It may just because I love this teacher so much that I think he loves me too, lol, I don't know what I'm saying anymore. But I need to sleep, so Imma gonna sleep now, so bye. This blog is weird, I hope no one reads this. And the fact is that no one does, so that's great, yay, bye, I'm weird.

My attempt in trying to learn and practice human autonomy


My Birthday

Although it's not like that anyone reads my blog in any way, I'm gonna tell you guys that today is my birthday The one day that is same with any other day but with the difference being the presents you are given and received. In honesty, I didn't have any sort of feeling of being special when I woke up today. This day is identical to my normal days, and the reason that this day is actually significant is that we as rational beings like to remember how old we are. Without birthdays, we may all be like an old dude that cannot remember how old he is. When you think about it, if your parents hadn't told you about when you are born and the world doesn't have birth certificates, you will not even know your birthday. With that said, that is the ridiculous part of birthdays. On this day, you could be unlucky, productive, lazy, busy or free. It is just another day that we have to live through to experience the importance of wasting time. Ok, not everyone wastes time, but at least I do, so there you go.

I don't hate birthdays, and because of all the presents that I had gotten for the last 16 years, I love them. Because I'm young and fortunate to be in a wealthy family, this particular day is that day that I get free stuff which I had dreamt of for an entire year. This year, I got one step up and gotten one of the most expensive gifts in my whole lifetime excluding my tuition for school. One of the many and main reasons that I got that gift this year is because I attended an easier school. When thinking of it one way, I had worked less in school but got a higher score in return. My attitude for learning didn't change much in my opinion, but I have definitely put extra-curricular activities more up the priority compared to my previous years.

Although I do have a lot more to talk about in regard to birthdays and how pumped I am for my birthday presents, I am too lazy to type all those things out on the day that is marked my birthday so I will leave the blog here. There is no person on the planet that is as lazy as me.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Wasting time

Like any of the previous holidays, it all starts with me just being hyped out on what I could do during this awesome chunk of free time that I am going to have. I could finally grind art or type hours upon hours of code without caring about my grades or homework. It is the one thing that I looked forward to that always ends up with me just wasting most of that "awesome" time. When it is during the school year, I always blame the amount of homework that I have for the lack of creative stuff that I do during this time, but when the time comes and I am blessed with a month-long holiday, I end up trashing it to pieces with my marvelous ability to just waste time. For someone that is not that interested in games and can hardly spend more than 2 hours in front of a computer screen playing games, you might think that I would be very productive. But the reality is that I also have a very dumb ability to stare at pictures after pictures of meaningless frames of videos. You see, the reason that I am not that found of video games is that you need to constantly use your brain in order to win, and if you don't win, the game isn't fun. So, when playing games, you are faced with a dilemma, either you want to win and sacrifice your brain during your free time, or you lose every game while being brainless. In both cases, they are not ideal for me. With that in mind, I also don't like doing actual stuff during free time, because, they, same as the backbone of winning anything is that you need to use your brain. For me, I don't want to use my brain. If my brain is enough to supply me the consciousness of breathing and maintaining my heartbeat, I have no further problem with it. Ultimately, my desire to become a brainless being ends with two big obstacles: boredom, and guilt.

Although when you go brainless to stare at a moving canvas of frames after frames of pictures does allow time to pass by relatively quickly, and sometimes too quickly, this repetition of motionless brain-dead action would become boring after a short while(one and a half full week). And because of this boredom of youtube and movies finally hit me, I now am stuck with nothing to do while being limited to activities that don't require my brain to fire neurons at all. To me a month ago, this would be the easiest task in the whole entire universe, but to me now is a downright difficult task. I've tried sleeping the whole day through, watching basketball games, reading basketball analysis while having no interest in it at all, watching 4 movies a day, and forcing myself to play losing games. All the things that you could think of that allowed my brain to be asleep had been tried by me. Hell, I even tried doing low-quality art to kill time itself. Btw, it only succeeds for 2 hours and I'm back to square one. While not using your brain might be an easy task, to keep yourself entertained in parallel with that is harder than being focused during class.

I've just gone to cut my hair because it is too distracting. That may be the single most productive thing I had done the whole week.

As I said, the second obstacle to the whole not using your brain equation is that you will feel quilt always. When you go mindlessly during a video, your brain has so less to process that the things that you could be doing come up to your brain seamlessly. There is just no way to ignore the fact that you had planned yourself an eventful holiday ahead of time and now is watching youtube 24/7. While even more youtube and videos would solve the problem periodically, the guilt returns when you go to sleep. While I look up at total darkness in my room, I start thinking about how I had done nothing besides eating that day. I start hating myself at night and setting a 7 am alarm for the next day just for me to sleep till 1 pm and have the cycle repeat itself. This all sounds like it is a routine of a jobless dude in a wasteland that somehow got a phone to access youtube, but it is happening on me. I just cannot accept myself being like that, and at the same time, I am also continuing my stupid acts. To be unproductive is very satisfying at first, but after any sort of self-reflection, I am faced with my own frustration that although is very easy to overcome, is not ever overcomed. It's just stupid.    I am stupid. and this blog post is stupid.

But anyways, I am posting this to hopefully end this herocious act of my own and actually do something useful for my last week of holiday. I am most likely to just fall back into that never-ending cycle, but as any cliche hero would be, I am hopeful for my hopeless future holi-days.

Only thing I did during the winter break, and 99% of this is acutally did during the school year


Friday, December 28, 2018

The Shadow of the Wind | Book Review

                Although I am not a book nerd, I enjoy a vast range of books. From non-fiction to fantasy, I find much joy in reading through them. Lately, I read the book “The Shadow of the Wind”, and it is such a fun and enjoyable book that I actually for once wanted to write a review about it. The story started off with a young boy called Daniel getting a book that is mythicized by his dad. While his dad knew nothing about the book this boy got, he told him to protect it and not to let any other people get it from him. Although this didn’t much in the start, it greatly foreshadowed the suspenseful rest of the book. I went into this book thinking is just another book illustrating a boy who loved books, but I finished it with awe and disbelieve in how colorful the story is despite its dark nature. This story by filling the reader with complex plot elements and contrasting characters created its own universe while only having the story take place on the Earth that we are all living in.
                The first and most stand-out part of this book is its suspense. Most books contain suspense, and without it a book will never be finished. This is a sad fact that anyone needs to admit. If you could look in the mirror and say to yourself that you could entertain yourself with a non-fiction book, you are lying. Although suspense if plentiful in most books, this one made it fresh. In all the books that I had read in the past, most of them use multiple arches that are roughly smashed into each other to extend the suspense and in return the book. If a story consists of only one narrative, the length of it normally falls short. This story is different, except a letter that concluded the story at the end, the entirety of the plot line focused only Daniel’s perspective and the story doesn’t feel dull. With only one big mystery throughout the book, it paced the story well enough to sustain that suspense that dragged me on even when I was tired. And I was tired only because I was reading it at two in the morning.
                In addition to the wellful paced suspense throughout the book, the book also offers a great mystery. Unlike most books, this story contains one mystery that branch out to several puzzles of their own and they don’t feel separated. All the pieces of puzzles tie together seamlessly and you won’t feel being thrown around between story arches while reading the book. I have never felt lost in place throughout the book and each mystery and puzzle are not obvious while being very interesting. To read the book is like to be part of it and although a lot of book does this really good, The Shadow of the Wind does an even better job of this.
                And because of my procrastination problems, I will just end it here. After the second paragraph, I had already lost passion for finishing this book review. Not that its any problem with the book but all because of me. To be honest, for a book to make me want to write a book review about it is already very good, so if you are craving for a book to read lately, I strongly recommend The Shadow of the Wind.

I didn't even know why I believed in myself for finishing a book review.


                

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Finished Finals / Website Update

Finals had passed, finally. I no longer need to worry about my grade because it is already dead, jk. Let's do another one of my grade updates cuz I'm interesting. Firstly, the main thing is that all my subjects are now on or above 92 and only one of the subjects is an A-. The only subject to fall below A for me in Spanish which I had no idea how it was possible, but everything is still fine. I got a 97 on the test and 100 with extra credits in the Final, that's a mouth-full. I got a 99 in Biology and it is definitely not because the teacher treated me unfairly. Like I ofc could get 99 on my own, don't freaking question me. The only thing you need to be aware of is that I had never bribed the teacher, that's all.

With Finals being a thing in the past, I finally have time for my website and finish it before my birthday. I only have 2 more pages to go for my website as I finish one of them today. Although I do really think that html and css is the easiest thing in the whole entire world, it doesn't mean that it is a very simple and fast thing to get rid of. While I could type a whole webpage without even caring, I normally take a day to finish a page of the website. The reason behind this is that website is supposed to be built with a program and with sliders, but because I want to do everything from the ground up and building a website builder is not a thing I want to do, I typed my whole webpage up. The values that are needed to be put in are now done by dead trying every single number until it is right. After trying 10 and finding it is too small, I switch to 14 and found out that it is too big, and then I switch back to 13 to find that it is still a bit too big, and finally I would switch the number to 12. Although this might seem to be a very short process, when it is put into a context of switching windows and pressing f5 every single number change, a simple task could take a long time. (I notice that my English isn't really making the most sense right now, but just stick with me here) Because of how css is a stupid markup language, I could only try and try and try. Resulting in me using a whole day to finish one webpage. Either way, it is still a good practice of patience.

The final product of the webpage I did today isn't the best in the world because I really didn't want to put in such effort for some dumb task, but it is still responsive and user-reaction-friendly. There are pop up and examples that demonstrate everything. So, yeah.

Now, I need to move on to practicing my drawing skills so that if I really somehow get a client, I could deliver what I promised.

The webpage that I did today. Pictures are still not yet included, its fine

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Finals Day 1

The first day of Finals is coming to an end and I was playing games for the last 4 hours. Am I smart, maybe not really. Tomorrow's test is going to be English and my English now is no longer the one with 5 page long essays. In a way this is a good thing because I don't need to write essays within one and a half hour, the bad thing is that there are definite right or wrong answers now. In the past, my score goes with my teacher's mood and the smartness of me of that day. Right now, it is just me and my revision, nothing else. What makes things worse is that I think I know everything about the books that I am going to be tested on, but I still don't feel confident. Re-reading the 2 books now is now logical and just going through the notes won't really help me that much.

What I am going to talk about today is that how hard it is to review for some certain subjects. Although all subjects could be technically be reviewed for, some other subjects really confuse me on how exactly would I be doing that. For English, I used to just not review for them and just based on luck. Last year, I got vocabs to review for because the vocabs had became more difficult for me. But other than that, I mostly just listen to music on my earphones. The problem this year is that I no longer have my earphone and I can't just kill time. So, I resorted to actually reviewing for the exam and that brought me to this problem. First off, as I said, I couldn't re-read the book, cause I won't be able to finish it and conclusions are pretty useless. I tried summarizing the poem that I am going to be tested on, but I gave up halfway. The new computer allowed me to type an "essay" in my blog, but I don't think that would help too much either. The blog was designed to have a long-term impact and not a short boost of "English Skill" for me to take on exams. The second methods of reviewing English that I thought of is to discuss the book with friends, but that is kind of not possible for me. "I need friends" (Justice League). [btw, Justice League is a very bad movie. I know]. The thing is that your friends would not be able to have time to talk about a book that you choose because you think it helps you with your final. People mostly actually take English test without preparation. And I don't see any problem with that. (At this point, I am running out things to say, but I want to stretch this out because This is what I am good at, talking trash. And what I say trash, it is trash. Whatever, let's continue. The third way of reviewing English is to do sat practices. The problem with this method is that it is a long-term thing as well. Doing a couple questions the day before the test won't help you that much. So, in conclusion, ther is nothing that you could do to prepare for the English test when it is only a couple hours away. Although there are the literal thing that you are going to be able to do, those things would be useless. If you think otherwise, please tell me, cause I really want comments on my blog because I know that no one is reading them. And if anyone is going to be reading this, I would be very happy.

Moving on, the second topic that I will talk about today is my new computer. I know that I had already talked about my new computer on my last blog two days ago, but I want to add something because I can not think of anything to talk about. With my new computer, I could finally play 1080 games with 60fps. And although the computer is so big that it makes my old razer blade stealth feels like a baby, it packs a lot of power. No so much like gaming laptops, but it is enough to have me impressed by it. The best thing about it is the design. Although thinkpads are old-fashioned machines, the design of my x1 extreme is able to hit the modern design language while keeping the thinkpad tradition. With the soft touch material and the nub being in the middle of the keyboard, I would think that It is impossible to make it look modern. But somehow the use of sharp angles and the new layout of the keyboard makes the computer look modern again. In my opinion, this design of the thinkpad is even better than the dell xps 15.


I am near home now, And I don’t think I could continue typing, so I am going to stop it here and stop the blog. The blog is definitely improving my English and I would definitely continue it. But with that said, I still don’t know how to conclude and end a blog, so imma just gonna end it here, peace, bye, goodbye, esta luego (I don’t know how to spell it).

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Lenovo X1 Extreme / Finals

I had skipped a whole week of blogging because I didn't feel like it and not because I didn't have time. Although last week wasn't the most productive week ever, it isn't that boring either. Because the week is the week before the finals, and the second last week till the winter holidays, everyone was happy yet serious. Till this day, I didn't know there's such a thing. Although because of the nature of an international school and people aren't really that chocked up by finals, people still cared more they used to. Classmates that normally don't message me for help now does.

On another topic, my new computer just came and it is awesome. My constant 77wpm on a mechanical keyboard became an 85wpm constant. On top of that, I finally have a gpu to work with. While I had been doing video editing and compositing for the last 3 years, I had been working with integrated graphics all those times. If you are going to ask me how I managed, the answer is that I don't know. I was used to programs crashing every 5 minutes when under load (and on an integrated graphics gpu, it is always under load), freezing every time I apply an effect, devices detaching because they wanted to. But all those will change now, I now own a GTX 1050 Ti. Although this is nothing near to the fastest, the increase in speed is so much that I don't even know if I could complain. What struck me the most is that the increase in speed both in gpu and cpu didn't really make that much of a difference in the everyday task. Most of the tasks that I do on a computer only get decreased 1 to 20 second. To have such an expensive system to work with is kind of a luxury that nobody needs. But I am going to use this computer for graphics and computing as well, so I guess I am not so much wasting money anyways. A lot of money had been put into the computer's look and I don't think that is a waste. To have a computer that people doesn't associate with being playful is useful and shouldn't be looked down upon (my bad english is returning again).

Because I ran out of things to talk about my new computer, I am going to resume on what I said in the introduction. My classmates came from everywhere to ask me about stuff. You need to know, I am no longer that kid that does nothing except reviewing. On top of the programming and drawing that I sort of do regularly now, I also resumed gaming as well. Although I don't get as much satisfaction anymore from gaming, it is the best way to kill time in my opinion. You get to just stare at a screen and immediately get entertained (the side effects comes after). While work always decreases the entertainment level of games, nothing ever hinders your desire for it. Games are just a miracle in its own unique way. Back to what I was saying, people are starting to ask me for help, and I could only answer them while thinking of how bad I really am. Although I am still able to answer all the questions that my classmates throw at me, I remember the things that I still didn't review whenever someone ask me things. But anyways, I am going to try to improve on that and balance out personal projects and my grades.

Overall, I am running out of time again and I need to go back to reviewing and securing my grade. Cause if I don't, I don't think I could live with myself throughout my winter break.

Saturday, December 8, 2018

Preparing For A Musical Audition

It had been another day, I am stuck with writing another blog in front of my stupid yoga book that is very annoying to type on. I am repeating this phrase so much in my intros of blogs that I might just copy and paste this every time. With that being said, I will once again update you guys, whoever you are on my grades. Since last time, another subject of mine went to an A, so that is always good.

A poster from the internet featuring Chicago the play
I am planning on auditioning for my school's upcoming musical. To ensure my acceptance in the main role in this musical, I am now training my singing once again. Back like 4 years ago, I was in my school's choir and the choir of that school is actually decent. Now when I look back, that choir from my primary school is better than the choir from my current high school. It is very amusing. The only reason that I think of that could explain this is that because students from the primary school have a more un-developed voice and it helps them shape it as they train it. In addition, our choir teacher was extraordinary. The conductor we had was so good that we had a chance with other choirs with personal teachers for each student. If there were a movie about the competition my primary school has with this other school, it won't be anything but greatness. The equals of our performance would make a great show just like glee, except its actually a real story. Speaking of glee, I am pretty sure my sister loved glee exactly because she had a very similar experience in her primary school life.

Back on topic, I am not preparing for the musical audition. To do this, I am not doing vocal warm-up and training almost every day. This new habit of mine is a ton of fun, singing although is time-consuming if you want to do it seriously, but at the same time, this exact trait of it makes you use your time chunk by chunk just like playing video games, just that it's more productive in my opinion. With that said, I need to admit that I now am just focusing on the fun of practicing singing and not really improving it too much. Through 4 days of consecutive practicing, my notes are more stable when changing between them. (You're right, I don't know any terms for singing). Although that is an improvement that is made, the audition is 2 months away and I am pretty sure I need to improve at a much greater pace to get a leading role. On top of that, I can't forget to train my actual acting skills. I have never participated in a real play before, and a musical for my first try would be pretty overwhelming, to say the least. But abilities are forced out, so I am going to practice and try to get this freaking role. Btw, the play that is going to be held is Chicago, wish me luck for the next 2 month.

With the finals coming up, my schedule is full and I am still not being productive. But the past is the past, and I will make sure I would do good review tmr and not to miss so many blogs in the future.


Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Finals / The Fountainhead Book Oversight

Finals are coming up and I have not reviewed it yet. The A-s that I labored got is not fading away from my eyesight and gone after I take the final. Please attend my funeral for my grades and then pray for me after, I would appreciate it.

Back to topic, I need to choose a thing to talk about again today and I am losing out of ideas. If I would have organized things that I have to say about and pace it like I care, this would not happen. And because I did not do that, I now am stucked with doing nothing.

Five minutes later... I will talk about the philosophy behind The Fountainhead. Overall, I need to say that this book is super good. This is the first book that showed me how a fiction is able to teach morals and qualities to other people. In this book, the most interesting about it is that it demonstrated the immense power struggle. The power that is demonstrated is how people present themselves and stand up against problems. Because of that, the lack of power in one character is solely because of their own will and lack of passion. From that, the book demonstrated very good power struggle between characters that make you look down at yourself and not blaming others. I learned that phrases such as "It is not my fault", "It is out of my capabilities", and "It's not me" should not be used. There are always ways to become better and just wining and blaming would not do anything well. In addition, the way that characters in the book make bold choices also inspired me. Although these character's boldness is a little bit out of hand and too extreme, it is a very rare and good quality that I look up towards. For example, when the main character is caught in a rough situation in the story, he doesn't blame anyone, he doesn't think its anyone's fault. The character is able to clearly identify that he isn't wrong and that other's are not wrong as well. The character clung on to his ideas as he is sure that he is right while other characters are contrasted and juxtaposed with him. Other characters in the book would have subtle qualities that would suggest they blame issues on other people. And what is passionate about this is that both of those types of people are successful in the story. Although the author didn't intend to include this philosophy as I read her other philosophy books, what I got from the book is that you having the wrong attitude in life doesn't mean you would not succeed. If you like to only bribe your way out of things or use your charm as a shield, the world still strays away for you, but the only downside is that you are hollow inside because you are feeding off from other people's ability and tolerance.

With that being said, I, again, have a stack of homework that I left till the last minute. My summary of the philosophy behind The Fountainhead doesn't even contain any portion of what the book said, but it is my best effort of explaining it within a time crunch(I have hw). To get the most out of the philosophy of the author of The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand, you would have to read one of her novels or non-fiction yourself. Most of her books repeat the same main central concept, so if you are not a book nerd, one book from her would be enough to understand her standpoint.

I highly recommend her books and now I need to do hw (Best outro ever).

Not that anyone would care, but sorry, I ran out of art :(

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

The weekend had just pasted and the project that is due tomorrow is still not done yet. For that project, I need to do a poster and prepare for a presentation. I do not know what to do know since I don't even have the poster paper to start off with. With that said, because of how unproductive I was during the weekend, I wasn't even able to post a poorly written blog. And because this blog is more important than my grade, I decided to save my blog over my grades... I am going to die.

As much as I want to talk gibberish about my grades for 500 words, I won't allow myself. So, I guess I will talk about my sudden improvement in art. Through last summer, I gained a lot of skills: I made my first program, learned 2 programming languages legitimately(I have attempted to learn them for 4 years now, it's not even funny), and also I had one week that I uploaded vlogs constantly. And although programming doesn't really relate to any art form(don't argue with me), my art improved by a huge amount. And I really mean by a huge amount. From needing reference images to being able to sketch from the ground up. From the fascination that I had, I tried to explain the effect. The only explanation I came up with is that because programming had helped me develop a peaceful mindset. During my process of programming, I often run into stupid mistakes that takes me hours upon hours to fix. The most common mistake is not realizing a class or API. With the frustration getting to me every day and spending hours re-reading the same codes, I developed a peaceful mindset where I could solve stupid problems without going to get McDonalds or food. In my perspective, this new peaceful mindset of mine helped me do art.

Although this new peaceful mindset had helped me with my artistic abilities, it also comes with not so great side-effects because I can't control myself. Because of this peaceful mindset, I am no longer afraid of quizzes and tests. The usual me that reviews every day, every minute, became a student that does the bare minimum. Being minimal isn't too bad, but like everything, my abilities fail every now and then. And when you fail while doing the bare minimum, you drop below your desired result. There is no wriggle room allowed in a bare minimum situation. The past semester doing the bare minimum and generating a lot of free time.

Free time is always the one that is dreamed off and planned detailly to each specific detail. When I don't have free time, I always stack up plans to do when I have free time. This list includes sketching, art proportion studies, re-programming pokemon, and doing 3d sculpting. Anyone of these activities would satisfy my desire for being productive, but instead doing what I want to do, I mostly end up on Youtube, mesmerized by videos of completely stupid and useless subjects.

With this new characteristic of mine, it comes with its ups and downs. To say I'm ungrateful for it would not be right, but I am not grateful for it either.

P.S: Because I slept at 3 yesterday, I didn't had time to just upload and post this as I thought I would. So today would have two blog because this was supposed to be posted on yesterday. not that anyone would care. but I thought to just put it out there.

The only thing productive during the weekend(2.5 days)