-- A blog maintained by a pessimistic over-confident High-School kid.

Friday, March 22, 2019


When I was little, my mother always stressed the importance of keeping everything organized. If one thing belongs in its place, it should always in its place. There should never be any exceptions to these rules. Although I never doubt this thinking of my parents, I never thought much of it. If I could sustain my position when being messy, I would keep being messy, as long as it suffices. But it was just last week that I found out that just being good enough when being messy is fake. Because of all the extra work that I had been subjected to during the last two weeks (the tutoring that I need to do), my messy schedule for each day caused my downfall. I kept doing homework at the last minute, rushing through essays like it were blogs. When you run out of time, your work becomes shotty, and that was exactly me. To combat this current drawback of mine right now, I decided to draw up a schedule and make sure I stick to it in response to all the people that think I could help them (I really cannot).

Although I really do not know that much about order and the benefits of it, because of the blog, I would try my best to convince you about how it works. Order helps breaks down seemingly improbable tasks in life into an understandable amount. If could confidently tell myself that I only need two hours to dedicate to helping others, I could take my time in planning my rest of the day. For the past two weeks, I had no clue about how much time other people would cost me. In smooth days, others may only need my help for a second or so, but on a rough day, I may need to take upward to 6 hours in helping others. And the worst thing about this is that nothing of this is in complementary to your own schedule. What happens to me last week is that people only need my help when I have a busy day. I would have 4 homework waiting for me on the desk while I try my best in explaining how volume is to a person who really just wants to remember the formulas and pass his upcoming math test. Right now, I am struggling to write this blog because the household is as loud as a market. Things do not always go along with your plans, and it is crucial for oneself to have the leeway in taking hits. And one of the most prominent ways of doing this is to have a very orderly manner of life. It is like buffing up your health bar in a game in consequence in needing of taking the beating afterward.

Order also helps you slow down in the busiest of days. When you have a clear sight of where you want to go, the journey between these two places would appear to be much much shorter. Knowing your surrounding gives you awareness in how far behind or how far ahead you are. You could save trouble in panicking or the affliction of insecurity. Things seem much easier when you have a larger and broader understanding of it even if you have no clue about that thing. This may seem very discontinuing, and it is probably because of my way of explaining, again, I am in a very noisy environment right now, but let me explain. You would always have an easier job of learning something if you know what to learn. In the case of textbooks, they laid out the sequence in what to learn for you, you just have to follow and proceed. But in the case of learning a new programming language, you would always want to know all the new or unique aspects of it before actually learning how to use it. By learning the new features first, you know how far you are from fully understanding the object, and when you can stop learning. No one would ever want to learn extra information if they do not have to.

As I said, I am in a very distracting environment right now, so I am going to stop here. And although I know I have a very skill in ending paragraphs, essays, and blogs, I would leave this matter for another day similar to every other thing in my life.

The new page in my website, and the daily schedule that I wish
I would be able to follow for at least this semester

Monday, March 11, 2019

Non achievement

The title may be misleading, but anyways, I was trying to say that my inability to help 3 to 4 people simultaneously is my non-achievement (It made more sense in my head).

Although I am complaining about my awesome life right now, I just want to first say that I am grateful for everything I have right now and is more than excited to better teach other people. With that said, to take on an additional responsibility of teaching people when I procrastinate myself is very frustrating. Although I am not the kind of person who rages upon others when annoyed, I am that close to yelling at the people that I attempt on helping(I actually do not help a lot).

Whenever my classmates for friends come and ask for me to explain things from class and textbooks, I always think about how I never need any assistance in my understanding. While I have a very good education thanks to my parents, I do not think I have many advantages compared to others in any regard. People always say they trying their hardest or that they are going to try-hard on their next test, but in the end, they just review the materials the day before. I am just the person who repeats what the teacher says in a worse way. I could translate, re-explain and dedicated unlimited time, but the thing is that I would become frustrated. Time for everyone is limited, and due to my problem with procrastination, my time is even more limited than others. Every day I use one to three hours on relaxation and shutting off my brain. If you take away another 3 of the 24 hours that I have, my hobbies and extra-curricular activities will not have enough space to be fit into. I do not get why people skip or sleep through classes just to have more necessity to relearn the stuff afterward. I understand that we always think that we could do things better later, but I think we all know that it is not true. Things always come back and haunt you if you do not deal with it at that moment.

Another thing that is eating up my time is games. Just half a year ago, I have cured myself of video games entirely, but my homestay brother's obsession with his NBA game pulled me back into the world of video games. Everything started when he started asking me to play with him. At that time, I saw he was alone and he could only play single player. In response, I agreed on playing the game with him, and it is afterward that I found out how bad of an idea it was. It turns out that he is alone every day, every minute. If I were to be a kind person and entertain him with my involvement, I would have a negative time left in my life. Although school is not hard at the moment, my life still cannot fit in an extra collum of another genre of life. For the past 2 weeks, as I said in yesterday's blog, I have been subdued to satisfying other's need in exchange for my effort. Although I was still able to make songs and code in parallel to these new activities, my grades are slowly but evidently dropping. Grades are easy to drop and hard to maintain, and dropping it right now is the exact opposite of what I want.

Although I had just used a whole blog to whine about how I need to help others and entertain them, I just want to again address that I am thankful that I am in such positions. It is just that I may not be good enough to handle it all.

P.S: I cannot write anymore, I slept less than 3 hours yesterday, and I am not holding up.

my website can finally let users submit their request and comments

automated email and online payment is coming real soon

Distractions | Login System on my Website

I have learned PHP and MySQL, my beta website finally have accounts available. Although all the code right now is heavily referenced, I have a very good reason for it. For the last two weeks, I was bombarded by classmates and siblings for help. I do not know when I had become an all-achieving student, but I will take it. The only downside to all this is that all my free time are taken all up by others.

For the past 2 weeks, I hadn't been productive. Although school work had dramatically decreased, and I had a lot more free time without getting my grade involved, I had not done too much. One of the major reasons for this is that my other homestay recently found out how useful I am in terms of getting help. Once he found out that I could dedicate almost all of my day to other people, he decided to have me sit beside him for every homework he does. I do not blame him, because as he said himself, he cannot concentrate nearly enough by himself and would take a whole day to complete half of his homework. With me by his side, he is able to rush through his homework like actual paper. Everything is good, all except that all MY free time had been taken away. What makes worse is that my homestay brother also likes to have me as his gaming buddy. After getting him homework all done and straight, he would ask me numerous times just for me to agree upon playing video games with him. He is never afraid to ask for anything, and me, on the other hand, is not strong enough to hold my position all the time. The last two weeks of my life only consisted of teaching others and playing games with my homestay brother. This is my first time being in a situation of a bigger sibling, and for now, I have no idea why anyone would like a younger sibling ever.

Distractions take in various forms. They could be originated from other people, other objects, or our own ego. Each one of them compliments each other and if any one of the distractions gets eliminated, other forms of it re-appear and fill in the gap. My last two weeks consist of little social media, little entertainment, little personal hobbies, but all those are ultimately replaced by my homestay sibling. And when my homestay brother decide that I am no longer of any use to him, my distractions would only turn into other forms to haunt me all over again. The only standing point of the distractions of people is that they are very obvious and that we are always aware of them. Every time my homestay brother ask me to sit with him for his homework, I immediately feel an urge of frustration and wonder what degree of things that I could do instead of actually helping him with his homework. But at the same time, I also know that even if he did not request for my precious time, I would have gone ahead on wasting time by myself. Distractions for me is a thing that can not be beaten, and even if it is, it would just grow back like grass after a fire. Although I had used up a lot of my time on dedicating my conscious to other people and not really making a big difference in the end, I still helped others. And if you criticize how my complaint about it right now had proved me as a very materialistic person, you are right. While I may have not broken out during the periods when I was helping others, I was not as helpful as I could have and people had suffered the consequences of my actions. My friends are still struggling at math and bio, and my homestay brother still does not know how to learn effectively by himself.

In the past, I love helping other people, but right now, I see my assistance as a distraction from my work. It may be because of my unreasonable dream of getting into Stanford without an extraordinary high academic performance, or maybe because of my desire for self-dependent before 18. Both things are extremely hard for me to achieve and is only a reality only reachable in dreams, but as a saying said, "If you shoot for the stars, you will at least land on the moon." (Totally disagree with that saying, but whatever).

P.S: with social media out of the way, I wish that I would actually now start becoming productive.

My website with accounts. Although are still not functionalities to it,
you could check it out by going to my website and clicking sign in.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Intellectual Labor - My First Commission

After finally having my first commission from my website thanks to my friends, I have been subjected to making a website again. And that means I needed to do html, css and javascript. If you do not know what these three "programming" languages are, you only need to know that they are very repetitive and are ones that you could learn all in one day. To write this kind of code requires the littlest of your brain, and for now, there is still no one website builder that could replace actually typing them out with preserved quality. And because I need to make a website again, I had been enthralled with 2 weeks of intellectual labor and got me thinking about the concept of it.

Intellectual labor had been around for many years already. Most of the low-grade accountants and personally assistance jobs only involves in typing notes of their boss and punching numbers into computers. Although some personal assistance also plans days and meetings as well, a well-written program could do the same exact thing. Intellectual labor is that one thing that prevents the computer from taking over all jobs. The question that I now have is that if intellectual labor now had been shrunken to only inputting data and product testing, why is this gap not already been filled. Computers now could read handwritten texts and numbers pretty well right now and even games and creativity are now slowly being one of the computer’s greatest strength. There is no possibility of computers not being able to do this kind of “labor” for us. Website builders should be more advanced than they are and a lot of jobs should not require humans to do it. Programs being a thing that is write-once reuse many should not be something that is subscription based. Programs such as word and excel that does intellectual labor for people should not be things of subscriptions. The power of the computer’s ability to do labor should not be neglected. The pure fact that a lot of people still aren’t able to be trusted in offices doesn’t mean that computers could not be deployed now.

To this point, you may be thinking that I am missing something and that all of what computers could do is already used in companies and workflows, but the thing is that computers aren’t being used as often as they are. To prove this, I am going to tell you about my sister’s summer job 2 years ago. That year summer, my sister’s job was to input numbers from a paper into a computer. And what is so absurd about all of it is that the numbers that are recorded are from another minimum-wage employee that got the numbers in the street. There is no reason to not have that person to not have input the number into an electronic device in the first place. The process is prolonged by the fact that they did not use pre-existing data managing software to manage the data. The excuse for getting more jobs isn’t acceptable because money could be saved and distributed with the jobs that are neglected. Although I am nothing but a successful person or businessman and I have no authority to comment over things such as this, the fact remains that jobs should not be made for the fact that jobs help facilitate the economy. There are other ways to prosper the country other than just making labors and avoidable jobs.

Another saying about the taking over of intellectual labor is that it will make some people jobless and poor. But right now, every single person from a developed country is required to education and the exclusion of labor in jobs would only mean that there are more high-quality jobs for people to apply for. And although there are still rural areas where people do not get the chance to get an education, those areas and places will get their own growth and slowly have everyone with an education. And once everyone is educated, jobs related to cleaning and order would have no one to do. In Hong Kong, dishwashing jobs are a job without people to do. These minimum wage jobs are slowly being unfavorable even to the people that are not educated. And at that point, robots and computer have its necessity of actually taking over jobs. The future with robots and artificial intelligence is not a future that we should be scared off or worried about. Natural had set its course long ago and would continue setting its course. The phenomenon of jobs being replaced by robots is one that we all should root for and not demise. 

Intellectual labor should be slowly taken away and jobs of making websites, selling tickets and waiting tables should be replaced as soon as possible so that our evolution in the brain would be excelled and sped up.

My commissioned website

P.S: After writing this, I found out that this is already a thing that universities had studies on. Just saying.