-- A blog maintained by a pessimistic over-confident High-School kid.

Monday, July 22, 2019

Suppressing Desires

For most of my life, I have been told or to believe that I should suppress my desires and that it is one of the little ways that I could be successful. Although ambition and interests should be retained, desires for any material wealth or sequential happiness should be put out. There is a difference between interest and desire, and that difference put a line between the conditions for whether we should retain it. But today (meaning a week ago cuz I'm lazy), as I was punching numbers into an ATM and retrieving my salary for the last month, the momentary feeling of satisfaction sparked a thought in my mind. My thought although is arbitrary and non-significant, I have never thought about it, and it really interests me a lot.

When I was small, toys are kept out of reach as parents tell me that I should work for it, that I should always try to better myself before getting what I want. When I was a bit older, my want for a computer was rejected countless time. When I finally got my computer, I never got enough free time to use the computer that I have gotten so difficultly. And even now, I am separated from my desire of working on my own personal projects as I have work. For most of my life, I was told that I should proof my worth for things that are not directly beneficial. What is interesting is that my long on-going desire for an object often doesn't ring as true after I got my hands on it. For example, I have once wanted a razer branded watch very badly. To get this watch, I charge people for my lunch delivery service in school. But after all the hard work, the watch that I got didn't feel as satisfying as I thought it would be. Most of the time, after all the hard work that I have given in, the payoff that I get in result doesn’t match my expectations. I have built hype around objects just to be disappointed every time I got it. The only time that I am fulfilled by materialistic desires was when I buy them as soon as I wanted them. While my satisfaction does not stay for long, buying things as soon as I want them is the only way for me to enjoy it fully. Of course, there are always exceptions, and that long hard work does really translate to well-deserved satisfaction.

It occurred to me recently that the world is built upon all the natural feelings and desires of people. If people don’t want a top of the line computer, the latest phone, new updated clothes, or even just the better than average food, the system of our world’s economy would fall. I have been told that the world is built upon buyers and sellers a long time ago, but I wasn’t able to imagine the extension of this fact. People around the globe in cities are working to create new desires among people interchangeably, and these same people are using the money that they earned to buy other people’s created attractions. It is a constant loop that is holding up the entire economy. The people that could suppress their desires and finance their saved money are the only ones breaking the loop, becoming more and more successful. All cities and economies are a set of irony that is designed to trap the working class in their place. Companies around the world are “working together” to help each other vacuum all the wealth of the employees to allow the wealthy to maintain their position.

One way of facing this phenomenon is to give in, to become a normal sub-par citizen in our very lucky centralized city. But I say the better way is to opt-out, to leave the loop and leave everything else to be settled by the rule of supply and demand. Our world is ever constantly demanding more hard work from people, and it is no longer enough to just aim our goal upon getting into college and receiving a job with a great starting salary. Not that I have the authority to say anything from experience, but just waiting in line to be the next pawn of society would not end up in a very interesting life. I argue that if we are going to lose everything when we meet our end, we shouldn’t look at things that are necessary to survive but to look at how to achieve one goal after another.

Payday shouldn’t be the happiest day of every week, but an achievement of a newly acquired skill should be instead. Although we as people are being trapped in this “buyers and sellers” society and need our salary to survive, we should be better than we are required to be.

P.S: I am really not justified to say all this stuff, but I really want to post this new artwork that I did, and I want all my blogs to have a certain word limit.

An half-quick sketch of the spiderman from "far from home"