Friends

"It is very important to have friends, and although they are not essential, life would be much more difficult without them." This is what my mum had causally and jokingly said about my situation in school since I understand Chinese. And when I had first heard of this phrase, the only thing I can think of is how materialistic you have to be to say it. A bared down version of this is just "you need friends because you need their help". You are making friends based on the benefits of it, and you are using your friends. Even if you help them back, and the trade goes both ways, it is still true that you are there partly because of the help. But today, I have a different view on this, and this quote could be looked upon in another angle.

This quote holds true and moral because you are providing help and assistance in thinking this way. Although you are conscious and look forward to the aid you get from your friends, you are also conscious of the contrary and that you would have to help them back in their darkest times as well. Although I myself would prefer friends to have a genuine care for each other, I think this both way trade of a win-win situation serves no negative effect. Even in a situation that one of the friends went through a detrimental accident that rendered them useless, the trade still continues and one would help the other. Friends like this still go around together and take a form of couples, and it does not damage the relationship in any way. The only negative part about this kind of friend relationship is that the choice of friends would become a very annoying and immoral process for people holding this belief. But except that little step back to it, this kind of relationship of friends is perfect. Friends would be aware of the actions that others are doing to them and be grateful for it. While the lack of action may lead to friends like this to spare apart, I do not think this is going to be likely to happen. Although this kind of friendship is not ideal, it is far from immoral as I thought.

The reason that I brought this up is that my friend offered to advertise my website and my services to others. This doesn’t mean this friend is the type of friend that I described, but his offer to help me is such great that I had related it to that type of friend. He voluntarily acts of proposing his plan to help me is mind-blowing to me. Although he did other things for me before and I surely and fully appreciate it, it did not strike me as much as it did now. What he is offering is to sacrifice his time and face for me. I cannot stress how badly I hate advertising myself or, in fact, for anyone. When you are pitching about your business or idea to someone and is seeking their approval, you are like a beggar begging for their money and assistance. Although I don’t want to be a beggar in any shape or alternate form, I don’t feel like I am too good for it. I just don’t like to rely on anyone but myself. If I am going to help one person out, I wouldn’t want to ask (beg) for their acceptance of me. Back to the point, this friend of mine is offering to do the (in my eyes) “dirty” work for me, and I am such grateful. The only problem left now is that I need to gain the qualification to do commission work for others. Right now, although I could do a lot, I do not think I am good enough. (if the friend I am talking about reads this, it would be pretty weird)

The thing that I take from this is that as long as you are trying your best to help others and be genuine about your offered help, good things will naturally come at your way.

Now that the people I know in real life read my blog, I must be careful what I say and not cringe them out. I know my English writing is not even near the primary school level, so if you are reading this, just know that you would be better off reading actual books and short articles. 😊