-- A blog maintained by a pessimistic over-confident High-School kid.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

The weekend had just pasted and the project that is due tomorrow is still not done yet. For that project, I need to do a poster and prepare for a presentation. I do not know what to do know since I don't even have the poster paper to start off with. With that said, because of how unproductive I was during the weekend, I wasn't even able to post a poorly written blog. And because this blog is more important than my grade, I decided to save my blog over my grades... I am going to die.

As much as I want to talk gibberish about my grades for 500 words, I won't allow myself. So, I guess I will talk about my sudden improvement in art. Through last summer, I gained a lot of skills: I made my first program, learned 2 programming languages legitimately(I have attempted to learn them for 4 years now, it's not even funny), and also I had one week that I uploaded vlogs constantly. And although programming doesn't really relate to any art form(don't argue with me), my art improved by a huge amount. And I really mean by a huge amount. From needing reference images to being able to sketch from the ground up. From the fascination that I had, I tried to explain the effect. The only explanation I came up with is that because programming had helped me develop a peaceful mindset. During my process of programming, I often run into stupid mistakes that takes me hours upon hours to fix. The most common mistake is not realizing a class or API. With the frustration getting to me every day and spending hours re-reading the same codes, I developed a peaceful mindset where I could solve stupid problems without going to get McDonalds or food. In my perspective, this new peaceful mindset of mine helped me do art.

Although this new peaceful mindset had helped me with my artistic abilities, it also comes with not so great side-effects because I can't control myself. Because of this peaceful mindset, I am no longer afraid of quizzes and tests. The usual me that reviews every day, every minute, became a student that does the bare minimum. Being minimal isn't too bad, but like everything, my abilities fail every now and then. And when you fail while doing the bare minimum, you drop below your desired result. There is no wriggle room allowed in a bare minimum situation. The past semester doing the bare minimum and generating a lot of free time.

Free time is always the one that is dreamed off and planned detailly to each specific detail. When I don't have free time, I always stack up plans to do when I have free time. This list includes sketching, art proportion studies, re-programming pokemon, and doing 3d sculpting. Anyone of these activities would satisfy my desire for being productive, but instead doing what I want to do, I mostly end up on Youtube, mesmerized by videos of completely stupid and useless subjects.

With this new characteristic of mine, it comes with its ups and downs. To say I'm ungrateful for it would not be right, but I am not grateful for it either.

P.S: Because I slept at 3 yesterday, I didn't had time to just upload and post this as I thought I would. So today would have two blog because this was supposed to be posted on yesterday. not that anyone would care. but I thought to just put it out there.

The only thing productive during the weekend(2.5 days)

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